Family gatherings can bring feelings of warmth, excitement and joy. Like most of us these days, you may also be bracing yourself for dreaded toxic political conversations. A couple of my peers and I wondered what happened to simpler times, when people had healthy debates on front porches. From those musings, we developed a project called Porch Talks, to guide conversations from toxic to healthy. I have lifted some of those ideas to share six simple ways to prevent family gatherings from being derailed by politics.
How Mediators Break Impasse – Without Giving Advice or Giving Up
Mediators have so many advantages on our side. First, the mediation process is so reliably promising. Most mediated cases result in a resolution. Second, mediators who trust the process won’t give up easily. Finally, mediator standards of conduct foster self-determination of the parties. Nevertheless, there are still times when the parties are so entrenched in their respective positions, it’s hard to envision a pathway to agreement. After over 25 years in this field, I will admit there are occasions, if the parties haven’t said it first, I’ve had a fleeting thought, “This will never resolve.” Even in those tough cases, like any seasoned mediator, I will rely on a few simple strategies to break impasse, without giving advice or giving up. Ultimately, the parties co-create their own elegant resolution.
How Appreciating Conflicting Social Norms can Promote Social Harmony
The value of protocol, etiquette and codes of behavior shape our everyday life. Social norms and rules can be complicated, but they serve an important role in conflict management. In most cases, they exist to preserve social harmony, communicate expectations, deter conflict and foster respect. They vary from situation to situation and culture to culture. Some are formal, others informal but equally important to preserving harmony within groups. As the world becomes interconnected, these variations can also lead to conflict. While we may not all agree on the rules, in my experience, most people are inclined to want peace and harmony at the end of the day. Sometimes the simple act of appreciating conflicting social norms can promote social harmony.