If you feel more agitated than usual when the temperatures rise, rest assured, most likely there’s nothing wrong with you. It is normal to feel uncomfortable and cranky when we become overheated. There is a reason the English language is loaded with idioms such as “hot and bothered,” “boiling over,” “hot-tempered” or “crash and burn.” (Read on, this article is loaded with them.) In fact, studies have demonstrated higher temperatures are accompanied by higher rates of aggression, violent crimes and global conflicts.
A client recently asked me for some strategies to engage in conflict without appearing angry. As I’ve said in previous articles, it’s no secret that most people fear conflict and will go to great lengths to avoid it. Managing our anger can be challenging at times. Most people either become defensive or worse, they’re boiling internally while trying to appear calm. Skilled mediators develop practical strategies to avoid being pulled into the emotional whirlpool of our clients’ conflicts.
Very few of us engage in conflicts with confidence and ease. In fact, most people fear conflict. Conflict avoiders are all around us. So are conflict magnets, or people who seem to thrive on drama and conflict. They don’t stir things up because they enjoy conflict. Typically, they’re not skilled at engaging appropriately in conflict, and internal triggers fuel actions that inflame conflicts. Conflict isn’t typically in anyone’s comfort zone, but there are strategies to help us be more resilient in conflicts.