Open-ended questions can be great conversation starters for social and workplace situations. Unlike closed-ended questions, which only yield one-word answers, open-ended questions get people talking. Mediators rely on open-ended questions, as they are powerful active listening tools, essential for effectively navigating conflicts. Most importantly, they help to engage and empower people to respond in their own words.
Recently, my conflict resolution skills were tested in my personal life. For someone who loves to help others work through their conflict, I felt lost. After attempting to talk and listen to the other parties involved, it was clear that progress was not on the horizon. When conflict is personal, it is easy for even the most seasoned mediators to forget how to apply what we use in our daily practice to develop a satisfactory resolution. I realized that the logical thing to do was draw on my mediation skills. Upon this realization, I turned my attention to five questions that I commonly use in my practice and when coaching our mediators.
Most conflicts are the result of communication problems. As a mediator, I observe people using blocks that get in the way of our ability to fully listen and hear what is said. In this article, the final in this series, I discuss three listening blocks: playing devil’s advocate, agreeing with everything and talking too much. If you can identify with any of these, you are in good company! As with Part 1 and Part 2 in the series on blocks to effective listening, I show how you can avoid each one.
