Listening problems are at the heart of most communication-related conflicts. My first article on this topic covered four blocks to listening: distractions, unsolicited advice, assumptions and toxic positivity. In this piece, the second in a series, I discuss six more blocks to effective listening: rehearsing, filtering, derailing, defensiveness, judging and comparing. While most of us have used blocks identified in this series, I offer strategies for avoiding each one.
Most people engage our mediation services for conflicts involving communication problems. Poor listening is often at the epicenter of communication-related conflicts. After 25 years as a practicing mediator, I have compiled a list of “blocks” that get in the way of our ability to listen effectively. When I began diving into this subject, I realized there is more than one article’s worth of information share, so I’ve divided this subject into three articles. Here’s the good news: I have seen people build their listening skills and learn how to overcome these pitfalls. Under each listening block, I provide helpful tips on how to avoid them.
My kind and patient husband and I continue to learn each other’s love languages, the constant care and feeding of one another, how we each deal with stress, etc. This was a busy week for us both. We were gone last weekend and leaving town again this weekend. Between clients, I’m running errands for my business as well as my personal life. Scheduling appointments, painting a bedroom, planning travel, managing my staff, running to meetings, and so on, is exasperating. Stressed, exhausted and under pressure, I catch myself straying from the advice I give clients on how to manage stress-related conflict. I used to think love alone was the key to successful relationships, but I’ve changed my mind. It starts with three little words.
